What Makes A Person? A True Look Behind Sex and Gender

Published June 9, 2016 by kyaib

 

The North Carolina Governor recently signed and put into effect the Public Facilities Privacy Act. This law restricts the cities of North Carolina from allowing transgender people to use public restrooms for the sex they identify with. This bill passed the State House 82-26. Senate Democrats walked out in protest. This privacy act is disguised ignorance in the form of safety concern. Despite America’s effort to increase equality, America continues to form and hold negative stigmas against transgender people.

The idea of being transgender shouldn’t be considered a mental disorder. The true definition of transgender is unknown to most. Although over 700,000 live in the United States alone (Sharon Jayson). In scientific terms we have considered people who are transgender as people who suffer from Gender Dysphoria. The stigma often comes from this misconception that people who are transgender are mentally incapable. We often don’t realize that being transgender isn’t a choice but is another way of living. Homosexuality was considered a mental disorder until 1973. By speaking out we were open to realizing that homosexuality was not a disorder but a way of life. With a little more advocating the same will be known for transgender people.

Recently Target has created a new line of gender neutral clothing for kids. This idea outraged many as people boycotted kids wearing the same clothes.The idea of gender nonconforming people or gender neutrality is not understandable for some because society has influenced cis-privilege and  gender roles. There has always been two known set genders, male and female. These genders have taught us what to like, how to dress, and even think. People who fit into their set gender roles receive cis-privilege which is a set of unearned advantages that individuals who identify as the gender they were assigned as birth accrue solely due to having a cisgender identity(Gender Spectrum Organization).. As we get older the idea of male and female is imprinted in our minds, making it hard for us to imagine somebody stepping out of their assigned gender and exploring new options.

Many people believe that a person’s sex and gender are intertwined, when in reality sex and gender vary . Biological sex is the sex/gender you are when you’re born. While gender is the relationship between a person’s sex and their sense of self. Gender and sex clearly vary.

The solution for change is challenging for most. America has to become more inclusive. We, as a society, have to realize that there is no gender norm. As brands like Target continue to fight ignorance, it is still promoted by thing such as the bathroom law. The bathroom law “promotes” safety but raises a new concern. What happens to the safety of transgender people? We need to educate our societies on how genders vary and put an end to stereotyped gender roles.

For years people who did not conform to their assigned gender have been harassed and even killed due to a lack of education and understanding. In this year 13 transgender people have died due to hate crimes. We need to use our cis-privilege in order to help our transgender brother and sisters. Together we should fight un-inclusive and unjust laws like the Privacy Act.

The Black Girl Manual: A How-To Guide

Published June 2, 2016 by kyaib

Hello readers! This blog post is the last, or at least the last assigned blog post. I may keep writing over the summer or binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. I think the second option is more realistic. This post, although not a poem, will hopefully move you or at least make you think. I believe I should be selfish with this blog post. I should write about something I love and believe in. This post may not attract everybody and that’s okay. As I listen to one of the most care-free black girls, Solange, I envision this post is read by people who can either relate or want to educate themselves  on the issues of the ‘Black Girl’. So now I’ll stop rambling…


How-To: Understand the Injustices of the world

     Recently a study done by the University of Virginia was releases. 222 white medical students were surveyed on whether the anatomy of  black patients differed from the anatomy of whites. Students were also asked if black people age slower than whites.  Over 100 students believed these untruthful statements. Students also believed black people felt  less pain than whites. 

     That anecdote you just read was to prove 1 point. Although America as a whole likes to believe we are united as one, we are not. Studies like that prove that there are still misconceptions held towards people who lack European ancestry. It’s terrifying to think that a country you were born in is still on the rocks about accepting you. But we have and will continue to make strides to better this country. To feel better I recommend watching any show created by Shonda Rhimes, a black pioneer in her own right.

How-To: Love Yourself 

     This one is very tricky. As a child growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood I always saw examples of black girls and women like me. I saw the beauty of natural hair, weaves, and braids. I saw the rainbow of black girl complexions and loved it. Black women who spoke AAVE and held degrees. That was my life. Then I reached the real world. I saw women of my race bashed for wearing their kinky curls. Slit-shamed beyond compare. Categorized as ratchet, ghetto, and the last choice.

     This can weigh on us. You try to defy the stereotypes placed on you. You tell people you’re mixed because you’re scared of being black. After years of fearing my true identity, I have learned to bask in my blackness. I encourage the use of hotsauce and rock my weaves and long chunky box braids. I love my self and so should you.

Conclusion:

     It is hard, trust me I know. It’s hard when you’re big lips and braids are mocked but the stolen by another race and they’re praised. It’s hard when you’re natural hair is labeled as unprofessional. When you’re hated even by the men of your race. In spite of all of this you have to remember you are BLACK GIRL MAGIC.

“The way black women say “girl” can be magical. Frankly, I have no solid beliefs about the survival of consciousness after physical death. But if it’s going to happen I know what I want to see after my trek toward the light. I want to see a black woman who will smile and say, “Girl….” 

― Abigail Padgett


The N Word

Published May 19, 2016 by kyaib

THE N WORD…*Caution* This post is saturated in Wokeness. If you don’t understand this term just quit while you’re ahead. If you enjoy things derived from black culture such as rap, country (believe it or not WE created that 😉), Drake and his beard (sorry but it had to be included) and doo-rags (or urban tie caps according to Chanel 😐) then you should also love and enjoy this post about the troubling things us back people go through. Today I overheard the worst conversation in my life. I was in the gym locker changing when I heard this…

Girl 1- I don’t say THAT word.

Girl 2- Why not?

Girl 1- I was raised not to say it.

Whew I thought. This girl, who happens to be white, did not abuse her white privileges but instead realized that she had it. Good job I thought until I heard the rest of the conversation.

Girl 1- BUT…….

(This is when I knew EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, was going to go down hill.)

Girl 1- If it’s like in a song or something I’ll say it… It just depends.

Noooooo I thought . My faith in humanity was shattered. Actually it was destroyed. Did she just….? Did she really just…? Why world, why are you like this? So today is a rant on the N word. Yes the infamous word that has sparked a debate for years. A word that has caused  people to be fired and shunned for years. Please, please, please, I’m begging you, please just understand the history. Understand how much pain and anguish that word causes. But also understand that, I, as a BLACK person, have the right to use this word. This word, hurled at my ancestors for years, will be reinvented by ONLY me or my African American peers. We may use this term as we please but that does not give anyone of any other race the right or privilege to use this term. In a world where “Becky” is now considered a racial slur, the N word should then be considered a ghost amongst the tongues of ANYONE who doesn’t have African ancestry. This shouldn’t be a hard concept. And another thing. Please, and I’m really begging  here, do not use your token black friend as an excuse for your use of the word. Thank you for reading and next time when you hear the N word in a rap just skip it. Also press the link and educate yo self.

http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/things-people-should-stop-asking-about-the-n-word/

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Don’t do this! Don’t be this type of person! Please just don’t!

Self Acceptance is the New Black

Published May 5, 2016 by kyaib

Self Love and Acceptance, Two Terms Unspoken of in the 21st Century :

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The idea of a person loving themselves, flaws and all, is deemed as a huge deal. Why is that? Why is it out of the ordinary for someone to love themselves? Why is it the norm for girls to hate, or at least dislike, their bodies? In a world where technology advances almost every day, why can’t we?
As a person I have had my insecurities. For one my long feet, something I have learned to love. Although this insecurity may feel insignificant, it impacted my daily life choices. Certain shoes were not gonna happen because they depicted the truth of my long feet. Skinny jeans, forget about it! I was self conscious about something that, now that I look back, was ridiculous. I realized my feet couldn’t be change, they were a part of me. Now I wear whatever I want, not caring about my shoe size. I know this insecurity sounds weird, but it’s real. People all over have their insecurities, but many as the years increase, have grown due to society.

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Social media, in some ways, have given us unrealistic expectations of humans in general. Society has had a helping hand in portraying women as sexual objects created for the sole purpose of pleasuring the opposite sex. While men are portrayed as hyper masculine beings who should shed no tears but all the calories as they maintain their six pack. These expectations, although knowingly unrealistic, are still that…expectations. Many of these stereotypes cause people to feel less than or inferior to their sisters or brothers who have mastered this stereotype. Hashtags like #masculinitysofragile shine light on these issues but is that enough?

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The best advice anyone can give you is ” be you”. Love yourself flaws and all, even when the world tells you not to. You are worthy and beautiful and if someone tells you you’re not just remember that they are a “lumpy plume plucked foot licker “ and you are FABUUUUUULOUS!

Shorties;Small Poems

Published April 7, 2016 by kyaib

This post is unlike many of my other blogs.  I decided to post my unfinished/ short poems. As always I haven’t been feeling the poetic juices. So if you like a poem and want me to expand please comment and let me know. Also comment if you have any topics.

I think short poems are so much easier to make. They allow you to get your message out there easily. Hopefully this post is enjoyable, if not talk about it with your friend but don’t tell me to my face 😭.  I’ve tried to include multiple topics that I think everyone will like. There are also some poems that relate to me, or that I just wrote in my free time. So as the picture above says…

Just Write It!

Spiritual Gangster:

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I call myself the spiritual gangsta
The girl with mantras of all flavors
A person who devotes her spirit
To a personality who’s otherworldly

I write my thoughts with pen and paper
But find expression through nature
I find great strength
Through the worlds gifts

Phases:image

Life is simple
Mama loves you
Mom and dad civil
A love story you can’t rekindle

Life is great
No sense of hate
Only love, in the 1 room apartment
Mama may lose cause the rents late

A Different Life:

 

Waking up with different eyes
I’m taken by surprise
As my appearance before me
Is undeniably not mine

A fresh new start reads the card
As I search the dresser for my ID
A gift from G.A.
Is what it reads

I go down the stairs
Of a house unfamiliar
To walk in on my new found husband
A sight also unfamiliar

He greets me with a kiss on the cheek
And a plate of waffles
As I examine the kitchen
Oh so chic

My long ombré strands
Stick to the syrup around my mouth
As my husband tells me our plans
Since the kids are gone; an empty house

I began to smile
Noticing family portraits on the wall
My daughter and I matching
My husbands two favorite girls

But then I turn
Hearing a beeping sound
I wake up distraught
Another day dumbfounded

As I walk to the bathroom
Brushing my teeth in the mirror
I notice my male face in the mirror
More embarrassed than ever

 

 

Cash Crops; We’re all Profit

Published March 10, 2016 by kyaib

imageCaution this post will totally be “kanye-ish (The College Dropout era). What I mean by this is very hard to explain. Lately I have been lacking a sense of passion for my poetry and then I thought, why not write about something that matters to you? So eventually that led me to write about the history of me people. This poem is about slavery but not the generic “slavery was horrible ” (even though it is) stuff. This poem is about the ethics behind it; money, and how such a thing could set such a destructive path for African-Americans and Americans period. Hopefully you enjoy.

         Cash Crops

Factored in that mint down the way

I’ve grown into a god in every sense of the word

I am so ruthless I do as I may

To not know me is absurd; I am money

 

And not any type of money but forceful-labor, shattering families, unmerciful slaughtering, fradulent Christian worshipping money

The best kind there is

I allow the white man to live happily with his honey

As his fellow black man believes he will be nothing more than a slave cause that’s what masa tells him he is

 

I’m the money who compels Christian men to do the most un holiest of things

Like driving that ship, only meant for 200, of 500 slaves

As they watch those fight knowing they pull the strings

While they hurl food-deprived bodies in the water and watch their heads bob in the waves

 

Yea I’m that peice of paper that dictates what race is the best

I make the whites tell the whites and the blacks that they’re worthless

Therefore those whites yearn to keep and enslave those slaves who know nothing about anything, because it’s for everyone’s best

While those with money don’t even have to worry about cleaning their own mess

 

Yes yes now you see, I am as powerful as can be

For years I gave the illusion that blacks were inferior to whites

So The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave can gain me

Taking even their ugly sins to new heights.

Middle School Memories

Published February 25, 2016 by kyaib

So recently I have been thinking about my middle school years. Coming to High-School has changed me for the better. I have turned into this person who is calmer, more relaxed, happier, but always hungry. Going to high-school was a weight off of my shoulders, especially during eighth grade. I was so excited to have a fresh start; meeting new people and making new friends. I just could not wait to leave.

But then I left…. At first I was happy. I have officially graduated. As the summer months I realized I was in denial. I did miss my Old school  and that was ok. I became worrisome that I would lose my friends. How would I find my classes?  This change became scary to me, but it was all for the better. Some days me and my friends reminisce about the “old days”, remembering the best and worst. Even though our school wasn’t the best, our memories were endless. So here is a list of the best moments during middle school.

1. Me Becoming Valedictorian:

This was the best moment of my life, actually. Ever since I was in sixth grade I would tell my parents that I was going to be valedictorian. For years I studied, worked my butt off, and even spent $150 on a social studies project in which I had to build my own world. Yea, I was that girl. Instead of going to end of the year parties I was in the house worried about exit projects due 4 months later, which I happened to get an A on so booyaa. So when I realized my work did matter I was extremely happy. Making my parents happy was the icing on the cake.

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2. The Infamous Graduation Party:

This party was the best party I have ever went to, but not for the reason most think. This party was emotional for my friends and I. This would be the last social gathering all of 308 would attend. We danced, we laughed, and overall we had fun. The memories made will last a life time.

 

3. Senior Trip

This trip is memorable for many different reasons. One being that me and my friends were blindsided. We were told that for our senior trip we would be attending a resort. So when we arrived to the middle of nowhere me and my friends were highly upset. But in 308 fashion we made it fun. As the president of my middle school, yes I was very active in my school 😂😂, I made a speech at our bond fire about how this school has changed our lives.

4. Proooooommmmm

Prom was okay, and this is meant to be read with a lack of enthusiasm. The party itself was okay, but the ride there was fabulous. My mom rented a party bus for me and my friends to ride in style. Even though most of the girls were less than friendly towards each other. The ride was fun.

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